Every Little Thing Page 18

  Cohen urged Clarence to do something about that. A kid being left home alone. Six years old.

  “Do what,Cohen, citizen’s arrest?”

  “No. Put in a call to Child Services. I’d hate to see the day come that I’m put in the position to tell someone in Child Services that I told my superior that a child was being left alone, and possibly neglected in other ways, and that my superior ignored—”

  “Watch it, Davies! D’you hear me? Cool off. Get out of my office and get back to work.”

  “That came out wrong.”Cohen laughed. “I wasn’t threatening to call them.”

  But Clarence stayed firm. Eyed him curiously. “You bring your concerns to me and then you’re done with the matter, you hear me? I take action on this stuff. Not you. And I do as I see fit. Do not overstep me on these matters. That’s an official warning,” he said, making a note on his computer. “And I’ve just sent you an email, so the warning is on record. I like you, I like the kid, but I’m concerned with what your worry might do to us all here.”

  MAY SEVENTEENTH. A call from the hospital. Zack’s father had badly burned his hand at work.

  “I don’t know what to say, I’m really sorry, I’m still in the waiting room, and what time is it?” a slight pause while he must have checked a watch. “It’s after six. Shit.”

  “Shit is right. We’ve been waiting in the porch for an hour!”

  “Listen. I’m injured. I’ve been held up here, waiting forever.

  I’m sorry, but I can’t think of anything to do, about getting Zack looked after.”

  “What about that girl who picked him up a few times last month?”

  “Tanya?”

  A harsh sigh, “I don’t know her name, man.”

  “We’re...we’ve broken up. Like. Listen. I know you’ve got some kind of problem with me. I see it on your face every day I pick the kid up—”

  “See, man, it’s the fact you just called him the kid, not my kid or Zack—”

  “Listen, I’m in a hospital waiting room. I can’t have this...confrontation right now. But I know you think the world of Zack, and I need a favour. I need someone to watch him until I get my hand taken care of here. He talks about you, you know. At home. This will never happen again, but I’m stuck. Can you just…take him back to your place maybe? I’ll pick him up there?”

  “That’s. I mean. I would, but my employer will have my head. These days, you don’t...take kids back to your place. Liabilities, perceptions—”

  “Are you saying you can’t or?”

  He gave Jamie his home address and hung up without saying goodbye.

  In the car, on the way back to Cohen’s, Zack seemed really worried about his father and that much made Cohen happy. Worry stems from love.

  Zack had a tiny toy dinosaur pinched between each thumb and forefinger, making them fight on his left knee. “Is my dad gonna be okay?”

  “Yes. He hurt his hand is all. But he’s got two of those! And we can always buy him a new one if he needs it.”

  Laughing his head off. “You can’t buy a new hand!”

  “I know. I’m kidding. Everything will be all right, I promise.”

  “My dad’s a chef. He always hurts his hands.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. Burns and cuts. He makes really good desserts. Sometimes I help.”

  “So your dad is fun, good to you?”Zack stared at him, like he didn’t understand the question. “You have fun with your dad? You two play a lot?”

  “Well, he’s on the phone a lot and says he needs time alone to think. He’s always thinking. I guess that means he’s smart, right?”

  Cohen laughed at the logic, sad as it was. “Yeah, I guess so. I wonder what he’s thinking about?What’s your guess?”

  “Things to cook.”

  Cohen laughed again.

  “Hey, Mr. Davies, did you ever see how short a Tyrannosaurus rex’s arms are?” He held the toy up. “I bet if one bent over, to pick something up, its nose would poke off the ground too—”

  “Who’s he talking to, on the phone all the time. Do you know?”

  “My nan. She doesn’t live here. She lives in Florida. It’s warm down there and they have lizards. All the birds with long legs. And long beaks. He always talks about Lynn. That was my mom’s name. He’s still really mad at her. Just been gone a long time. And doesn’t give him money.”

  He wanted to pry, but he didn’t know where to start.

  “...or he tells Nan about how I’ve been fainting. Like he’s mad about that too.”

  Cohen pulled the car over, against a curb, and turned around to face Zack in the back seat. He laid a hand on Zack’s knee, looked him in the eye. “Zack, I promise you, no one is mad about you fainting. And certainly not your dad. But how many times has it happened, buddy?”

  “It happened in my backyard and then twice at school in gym class. Everyone thinks I’m afraid of sports now. I’m not. I’m actually really good at basketball.”Cohen took his hand off Zack’s knee and turned around. He was looking out his windshield and processing the news when Zack asked him, “Am I all right? Does everybody faint?”

  “Your dad’s figuring everything out. Don’t you worry.”

  “I know. He talks to Nan, and they think I should move to Florida with her. But I might not be allowed for some reason.”

  “Is your dad moving to Florida?”

  “No. Don’t tell him I know that. I listen to them on the phone from behind the couch.”

  Cohen didn’t know where to start, and he said, “What did the doctors say or how did your father explain it to you, about why you’re fainting?”

  Zack shrugged his shoulders and accidentally dropped the red dinosaur. It bounced under the seat, and he complained he couldn’t reach it. The seatbelt snapping him upright every time he’d lunge for it. So Cohen got out and fetched it for him. And he stopped interrogating him.

  He took him home, fed him, and they played hide and go seek and tag and watched a show about crocodiles. Within a minute of the show coming on, Zack had blurted out,“Crocodiles and alligators are different. They live in different parts of the world. And alligators got fatter snouts than crocodiles!”

  Zack fell asleep before eight. Cohen didn’t know much about kids his age, but that seemed strange. Jamie knocked on his door, his bandaged hand was a white cannonball. Instead of letting him in, Cohen stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Jamie took a step back, wary, ready for confrontation. Like he wanted Cohen to provoke him.

  “Is it bad?” Cohen nodded to his hand.

  “Yes, actually. Second-degree, down to the nerves, but it won’t need a graft or anything.”He shrugged his shoulders. “It’ll heal. I appreciate this, man. It’s a one-time inconvenience.”

  “Thing is, Jamie, it wasn’t an inconvenience. Zack’s great company. But I’m concerned it was me you had to have look after him. He should have a...I don’t know...a next of kin or whatever.”

  Jamie’s body tightened, his face went twitchy. “Look, man...Zack likes you, and the Avian-Dome is a convenient place to drop him off and pick him up on weekdays, but I’m sick of...you. To be blunt. I mean, Jesus,” an angry laugh, “Think about it.”

  “And what’s up with the fainting?”

  He shook his head. “Just go in there and send out Zack.”

  “Yeah, of course, but I mean, c’mon. Someone at the Avian-Dome should know about any medical conditions? It’s called responsible parenting—”

  “The doctors are looking into it. What do you want me to say? They don’t know, so I don’t know. I’m doing the best I can with this kid, and it’s really…it’s goddamn bold of you to be grilling me.”

  “And what’s up with shipping him off to Florida?”

  Shifty feet, a shaking head. “You want the full story?To shut you up?”

  “I’ve got a few legitimate questions, that’s all.”

  “Why I’m shipping him off to Florida. You call that a legitimate q
uestion from some daycare worker?”He looked him up and down. “I adopted that kid because Lynn wanted to. My...ex. It wasn’t even my idea. Kids. She wanted kids. I just wanted Lynn, and if that meant us being parents, fine. But the adoption process was all sorts of bullshit. It was years of our life, waiting, being inspected, renovating the goddamn house to be up to the most absurd codes. But along came Zack, just as Lynn and I are going through a rough patch. Zack was three when we adopted him. Two years into motherhood, Lynn up and runs off. Runs out on us. I haven’t seen her since, and I have no shot at her sending along financial support. So there you go, gumshoe. The full story from one stranger to another. And you’re here judging me for trying to do the best I can with the kid?”

  “You’re absolutely right that I’m being an asshole. But you can understand why, right?Why I had to ask some questions?”

  Jamie clenched his jaw, looked away from Cohen, but then right back at him. “I never asked to be a goddamn single father. I’m a chef. The hours are rough. I’ve got a lot going on in my personal life. This latest round of stress, the boy fainting, I mean fuck, what do you want me to say? First it’s anxiety attacks then it’s some kind of epilepsy or some other kind of fucking defect with his heart or his blood or his brain activity. And how should I know what’s wrong with Zack if the doctors don’t? The child profile I got from the adoption caseworker says the mother’s family has no medical issues, but the father’s medical history is unknown because the birth mother was some kind of slut who checked not certain of paternity.”

  Jamie shouldered past Cohen, hard, butting him in the chest. He thrust the door open to yell out to Zack, but Zack had been standing behind the door, listening in on their conversation, and now he was on his ass, two palms up to a bloody nose. There were tears streaming down into the red mess on his face.

  Jamie helped him up off the floor as Cohen ran to get some paper towels. The blood and tears hadn’t stopped. They took Zack’s hands away from his little face, and the tears had trailed through the blood, etching mini mazes onto his cheeks and jaw.

  COHEN CAME INTO work the next day, head down about lines crossed. He was giving a tour, to a group of kids on a grade six field trip, when he saw Jamie blowing around the Avian-Dome like a hurricane. He was asking anyone who looked like staff where he could find a man named Clarence Royce.

  An hour later, throwing away a banana peel, Cohen heard Clarence beckon him. My office. Now.

  “You had no goddamn right. Now go the fuck home! Two weeks, unpaid. Janet will be taking over the afterschool program. Until I hire someone else. Actually, the Morris kid will be done his master’s work by June first. Stay away until then. When he’s done, you can come back and take over the lake enrichment project. Do you remember the one I am talking about?”

  Cohen nodded yes.

  “We need all the samples processed and the numbers crunched and analyzed. Wherever the Morris kid leaves off, on the first, you pick up. You’re absolutely done with the hikes and the after school program.”

  Another nod. Cohen expected worse and was speechless.

  “I mean, you took the kid back to your house? His nose is broken, by the way. The kid’s traumatized about the two of you shouting at each other. Is that what you wanted?”

  Cohen stood up and, before leaving, he said, “I’m sorry, Clarence, but there’s some parts of myself I can’t turn off.”

  “I’m not judging your character, I’m judging your actions, or you as an employee. I’d fire anyone else over this, and you probably know it.”To Cohen’s back as he walked out of the room, Clarence added, “I’m acting accordingly, I’ll have you know. You really screwed me on this.”

  Cohen got home and found a tiny toy seahorse on his couch along the line where two cushions met. Zack must have left it behind. He sat down, picked it up, and flipped the seahorse like it was a coin. Over and over.

  A FACE IN

  THE MIRROR

  EVEN THOUGH HE’D been off work for weeks, he’d still set an alarm. The shrill drilling sound at 7:30 in the morning made him feel like his life was still on track. But he’d take longer showers now, maybe go out for breakfast. He was in a deli when she’d called him. He had to finish chewing through a mouthful of croissant before he could utter a hello without sounding gluttonous. Allie sounded like there was a gun to her head or the plane was going down. He dropped his cutlery to take the call outside. The sun greeting his eyes like a handful of salt.

  “I didn’t know who else to call, Cohen! I’m in Montreal. I’m fucking trembling here. My hands. It’s Lee. He. My God. He—”

  “Allie. It’s okay. Just tell me, and I’ll deal with it. It’s okay. He’s alive...right?”

  “The. The hospital just called me. I’m in a meeting. I was. They’re all in a boardroom behind me. Waiting for me, I don’t know. He,Lee, he doesn’t remember anything. He’s had some mild strokes this year. But that’s the thing, some. He’s been…moody, strange. I knew I shouldn’t have left him, but I had to, to come to Montreal—”

  “Allie, calm down. Are you saying he’s had another stroke?”

  “No. I dunno. He’s had a few. Over the last year. They’ve left him all foggy, harsher, but he’s pulled through them. It’s just...it’s everything.” She paused, and he pictured her throwing her hands up in the air. “His eyes are really bad now too. He’s half-blind and he walks funny and falls a lot. Like he’s clumsy. He’s got an angry edge now too, Cohen, you wouldn’t know him. He gets in funks, and I’ll find him in his bed, just lying there at three in the afternoon. I thought I could come to Montreal. But I just got a call. Some kids found him in a snowbank. A fucking snowbank. In his housecoat.” She paused, like she was picturing it. “Nothing on, but underwear and a bathrobe. I mean. He’s all right now. But. Lucid, they’re saying. He’s lucid now, as if he won’t be for long. Like he’s going to snap any day now. I need to get home,I…I don’t like the way the hospital was talking and I don’t really underst—”

  “Allie.”

  “He’s turning on people, he’s not right. He laces into Keith a lot, unprovoked. One day, he lost it at his neighbour’s teenager. He caught him smashing coke bottles on the street and lost it. Lost it. He threw a bottle at the kid and hasn’t made good with the neighbour. All these signs and I—”

  “Allie. It’s okay. I’m going to go get Lee, right now—”

  “Don’t do that. Don’t say my name at the beginning of every sentence because I know that means I’m panicked and you’re panicked too, but you’re trying to calm me—”

  “I’ll go talk with the hospital. You call Lee’s house tonight and I’ll be there and I’ll explain the whole thing, okay? I’ll get the full lowdown from the doctors.”

  “They found him half-naked in a snowbank. I can’t shake it. I don’t care if he’s okay now, right now, at this particular minute, because what’s next?”

  “Allie. What hospital?”

  “You’re saying my name again!”

  “Sorry.”

  “No, God, I am! Here you are trying to do me a favour. I— I’m just really rattled here.”

  “Don’t worry about anything until you at least know what you have to worry about, okay?”

  “He’s at Grayton’s hospital. You’re sure you can go?”

  “Of course. My God, of course.”

  “Lucid. I mean, isn’t that what they say about people with Alzheimer’s and dementia and stuff? He’s not himself lately, but it’s the kinds of things I could turn a blind eye to. Old age in general, you know? Crabby and speaking his mind and all that.”

  “He’s old, Allie, and you had to go to Montreal. Neither of those facts are your fault. He’s in his nineties. It’s amazing he’s living alone and somewhat self-sufficient. Amazing. Think about it. I’m actually...off work for the next while anyway. Call Lee’s house later. I’ll be there. I’ll stay with him day in and day out until you’re back, okay?”

  “Thanks,” she said and, after a long pause, �
��I—I mean, I didn’t know who to call. He’s got no one, you know? How sad is that? Not even Keith’s in town to do this for me.”

  “Yeah.”

  Another pause. Less cry-stuttering on her end now. He could see her, wherever she was. Her face full of tears and her palms sponging them up. Radiant as always in some kind of business casual outfit that would have black in it somewhere, if only in a bracelet or her shoes. Her hair down and not up: it was always up in buns or ponytails or a hundred different things, except when she had a work thing.

  “So you’re...off work. What does that mean?”

  “Long story. I’m still at the Avian-Dome, though.”

  “You’re still there, the Avian-Dome? That’s nice. I always liked you there. Especially with the kids.”

  “Yeah. We’ve got a new afterschool program now. One of the kids really reminds me of—”

  “You should go. Get Lee. I have to go anyway. I’m outside a boardroom right now, missing a seminar, looking like a little girly cry-face. I can feel sets of eyes on my back. Like...like their eyes are the ends of taser guns or something. It’s embarrassing. I really freaked out when the hospital called. I might have overreacted.”

  “Well, if it’s a room full of men as sweet and sensitive as Keith Stone, I’m sure they—”

  “Don’t be a prick—”

  “Ah, but you laughed a little. I heard it!”

  Another laugh, though muted under the weight of her sadness. “Maybe Keith has grown into a class act over the years. What do you know about it?”

  “I know enough by the way you just laughed.”

  “I’ll call you later,” she said, and it sounded like she was biting her tongue. “Call me back if things are serious.”

  “Okay.”

  “And Cohen?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t go into that hospital room expecting the sweet old man who used to rescue birds and crack jokes, okay? Truth is, he might not…I don’t know…take to you. He’s fine around me, but he doesn’t have time for anyone else. That’s half the reason I’m reluctant to go out of town now. And I know you’ve kept in touch, but it’s been a while, I gather, since you didn’t know about the strokes. So, seriously, call me if he’s difficult with you. Call me right away.”